flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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