I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
