put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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