Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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