Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
