How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
