I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
