How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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