I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
