Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
