just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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