are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
