I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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