just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So here I am, sexting at work.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
