They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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