i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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