You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize