i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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