tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
