I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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