We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
