I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
