508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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