eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
