Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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