Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
