normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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