Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i now understand why vodka
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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