Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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