We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
