Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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