Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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