If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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