What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize