if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize