We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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