better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
