time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
