I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
