i think my mom watched the whole time
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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