Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
