During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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