Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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