he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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