Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
