return my video game
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
