after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
