Is it normal to miss your booty call?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
