that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
