Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
