By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize