no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
