Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
