I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
