I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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