i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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