i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
