Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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