Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
