Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
