Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
