just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
