I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
