i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
