I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
