Porn is love you can see.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize